Here's to You, Ivaloo

Tonight I had mixed feelings about going to concert band rehearsal. The feeling was mostly laziness. It was a long day, and it was getting the best of me. I decided to go, and, like always, felt happy I went. I like to play my saxophone. I like it a lot. It brings happiness to my heart and when I play my saxophone, I feel.....I don't know, a little fearless. I feel like, I don't care too much when I make mistakes. I just listen harder to the others around me, make a note and do better the second time.  This is completely opposite to other aspects of my life. I tend to dwell and dwell on things I can't control. Social issues and the like, force me to loose sleep at night. But saxophone, no. Meh... it's all good. I love it.

At tonight's rehearsal, I looked over to the flute section and saw Ivaloo. A founding member of the group and recent widow of the band's associate director, Dr. Daryl Lund. I wondered how she was feeling. It's only the second rehearsal of the year and Daryl only passed in November. Many of the new pieces we played tonight were pieces he chose especially for us. I felt proud of her for being in attendance and in a strange way, felt that me also being there, playing music, was in some weird way, offering her my support...or condolences. I wondered if she felt sad. Lonely perhaps. I heard her say to another band member who asked how she was "holding up," that every day gets a little better. She must really love playing her flute as much as I love my saxophone. Or, perhaps, she feels like she is honoring Daryl by playing music for him to hear from the heavens.  What a strong woman to troop through the sorrow and play music through her sadness.

If I ever feel too lazy to go to band again, I need only to think of Ivaloo...